Saturday, August 22, 2009

The Truth About Cats and Dogs

If you want to know the truth, I wanted to be a vet when I was little, but I started shadowing a vet and after I saw her put down a dog I changed my Probable Profession right then and there. I just couldn’t do it, even if it was best for the sweet little doggies. So, why, my neighbors are sure to ask, are there huge quantities of dog fluff floating peacefully across our post-stamp size back yard? I do not make a business by murdering small, fluffy, very hairy dogs in my back yard and selling what is left to Cruella DeVil for her booming career in dog coat fashions. That is a fact. I don’t even shave them and have their fur made into yarn and the yarn made into hats. This is another fact. Click away if you don’t believe me. Not that there is anything wrong with knitting dog fur. It’s just not for me.

My backyard looks like the site for a Dog Murder Mystery Movie, and sadly there is no interesting story behind it except Mom hates when they shed in the kitchen and make the kitchen look like the site for a Dog Murder Mystery Movie, so we brush them outside. Make sense? I swear officer, if you look in the garbage there will be no bodies or blood, but if you look inside, you will see what appear to be a big dopey golden retriever and a little yappy corgi, both impeccably groomed. Double Pinky Promise with a Kiss and a Spit. (Incase you didn’t know that is more intense then swearing on a bible in kid land.)


  1. Yet another reason we don't have a dog. My own hair is bad enough! (Although I never considered knitting a sweater from it... but, nah... it wouldn't be nice & soft like dog hair.

  2. With a kiss and a spit! I am going to start using that!!